Wow! 2 days to go and 2018 is around the corner, page turned, book closed, new page, or new exciting book yet to be written. I for one, I’m excited as hell about what’s to come!
My last entry was back in May, after the France trip, while we had agreed to file for divorce before said trip, neither of us took the first step for months. The months kept passing by and things got worse. His daughter brought someone or went to someone’s house to have sex on 26 July. That day was the beginning of the end and while it hurt for a while, today I sit in my house, with my pups, in a perfectly peaceful Friday night. I’ve cried all I needed to cry, grieved the loss of a ten yr marriage and the hopes for children, let go of walking on eggshells, and while tears just started coming out as I typed that I am 150% sure that I made the right decision.
After the blow up with his daughter, we started sleeping in separate bedrooms, and in early September I went and filed for divorce. He moved out on 16 October, right smack between our anniversary and my birthday! Court was early November and on 5 December the divorce was official.
CB- turned out that while I was having my issues at home and he was waiting to get back to work, he was having his own issues at home. He waited a couple of weeks after being back in the office to tell me he was getting separated and his wife was moving out. She moved out in early June and ever since then, he and I have random happy hours, 4hrs of amazing dinners and conversations, and while I know my feelings for him haven’t gone anywhere, I on he other hand have been “friend-zoned.” 😂 He wants to worry about himself (having fun) and his kids. It’s an odd position to be in after what we had and while he continues to say that he’ll realize what he had when I’m dating/engaged again, nothing has changed since April. However, I do have a fantastic friend and I know we’d do anything for each other.
I have started going out and little by little have learned that I have a lot to offer which went unnoticed for 10yrs. I have also been able to spend more time with my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. Since I still want a family of my own, I’m exploring my options as that will not be dependent on being in a relationship. There’s also the possibility of a new position at work.
I am looking forward to welcoming 2018 with open arms!
Hope everyone had great Christmas and happy New Year!
When Love Just Ain't Enough 